Food Jail

What is it about food that invites comfort? Bad days, stressed days, anxious days can literally send me on a Holy Grail quest for pudding.

If my wedding ring falls in a running disposal then ice cream might help me cope. If my child tells everyone at church that I sing Little Mermaid songs in the shower then chocolate might help me forget to tape her mouth shut. Or, if the IRS shows up to bless me with an audit rather than a check I could arrange for an IV of hot fudge to be administered. In the whirling dervish of life I believe that good food can soothe my emotions better than rainbows and puppies.

For this reason, I get a little crabby when I have to check in to FOOD JAIL.

Nine months from now my oldest brother is getting married to a lovely lady. Even though I am elated they will enjoy His and Her towels for the rest of their lives, I have to say, I am a little less than excited about dieting down for the blessed event.

I know that I shouldn’t call it a diet, but lifestyle change is really just another way of saying I must have a funeral for all the foods that make “Eat, Drink and be Merry”… merry.

According to scripture“…nothing is better for a man under the sun, than to eat, and to drink, and be glad.”  Ecclesiastes 8:15

But according to my BMI there is nothing better for me than to get myself to 24 Hour Fitness.

Perhaps, one day, when I shed this mortal coil I will find that Heaven does, in fact, have a buffet line and things like Jazzercise, 10 minute Abs and Olympic Swimming have become special activities reserved for people who enjoy Celine Deion.

Until that blessed eternity comes my love affair with baked goods must remain a long distance relationship.  Perhaps I could send love notes to the people at Hostess and ask if they could send me pictures of Twinkies from time to time.

As I dive into the whole Food Jail thing I could use a little prayer; prayer for strength, prayer for self-control and prayer that I don’t maim the Food Police. After all, the opposite of fat and happy is… umm…skinny and rather grumpy.

Seriously, pray! It is for your own benefit.

All work and no cake might make Ginny a bad blogger.


16 responses to “Food Jail

  1. “…Olympic Swimming have become special activities reserved for people who enjoy Celine Dion.”

    ….you are so going down for this one little missy….NO DING DONGS FOR YOU! YOU COME BACK ONE YEAR!

  2. Food Jail schmood jail. I didn’t give up on the foods I liked. I just only eat them sparingly. Like one coke on Saturday. Or a burger every too weeks. It keeps me from cravings. You can do it.

  3. as someone trying to jump back up on that horse again myself? i send mucho hugs and lemon-water your way. you’ll rock

  4. This is a great post, and I confess that I’m eating straight from an open bag of chocolate chips as I’m reading it. I need Food Jail too!

  5. I love this post. I HATE being in food jail. I’ll say a little prayer for self-control, comfort and strength for the both of us.

    (Seriously, why didn’t God make chocolate calorie free? I do not understand this.)

  6. I can only say at least you have nine months! Leslie is getting married in four months, and right after the holidays! Don’t get me wrong I’m thrilled, but the diet pressure is on. Food jail for me too. (Soon.)

    • ooooh, the heat is on! Right after the holidays? Yikes! Scott choose April because it was a nice break between sporting events.

  7. You are a riot! But seriously, my daughter struggles constantly and now that I am in my late 50’s so do I. We all need prayers.

  8. My brother-in-law recently proposed to his girlfriend. When I asked about a wedding date (perhaps with a tinge of desperate fear in my voice), my sister-in-law-to-be said, “We’re thinking early winter.”

    And I said, “Oh, next winter?”

    And she said, “No, this one.”

    In other words, I feel ya.

  9. I have a continual conversation with myself every time I go into any grocery store. No, you can’t have that. No, you can’t have this. No! you can’t have that. No. No. No! I mix in a yes every now and then, but the no’s really annoy me. Good food is relentless!

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